How to Pass on Family Heirlooms and Keepsakes without Causing a Family Feud
When creating an estate plan, most people get distracted about passing on the “big things” like real estate, bank accounts, and vehicles, but these things are often not the items that carry the most meaning for the loved ones we leave behind.
Family heirlooms and keepsakes, the smaller items that don’t often have a high dollar value, do have some of the most sentimental value. It’s so important that you don’t overlook this type of property in your wills, trusts, and other estate planning documents. Not surprisingly, the distribution of these types of items can become a source of intense conflict and contention for those you leave behind. Sadly, not addressing family heirlooms and keepsakes in your estate plan can lead to long-lasting disagreements that can tear families apart.
Heirlooms and keepsakes are prized for their sentimental value, but are slightly different from one another in terms of the manner they’re passed on. Heirlooms are passed down among family members for generations, and the passing sometimes involves traditions. For example, the first daughter to marry may inherit her grandmother’s heirloom wedding ring.
Keepsakes, on the other hand, are given or kept specifically for sentimental or nostalgic reasons. These items may only get passed on once. For example, photo albums are a keepsake treasured by many families. If a keepsake is passed on multiple times, it could eventually become a family heirloom.
Just about any personal possession could be considered an heirloom or keepsake. Common examples include jewelry, photographs, art, furniture, clothing (like fur coats or wedding dresses), bibles, family historical documents (such as birth certificates, baptism records, and citizenship papers), and collections (like coins, stamps, and card collections).
In the legal world, both heirlooms and keepsakes are considered “non-titled personal property” so there should be a distribution plan for these items following the owner’s death. Without a plan, bitter conflicts can arise among family members. And, in some cases, the transfer of non-titled personal property creates more challenges among family members than the transfer of titled property. Conflicts can get so bad that grown adults decide to sever lifelong relationships and stop speaking to each other.
You’ll want to take extra care in seeing that family treasures are passed on properly. This means incorporating them into your estate plan in one way or another.
While there is no one perfect way to distribute these items in your estate plan, your primary goal should be to maintain harmony among your loved ones during an already emotional time. As with most sensitive issues, clear communication is vital.
Your family members can have vastly different values associated with certain heirlooms and keepsakes and you may have little idea about how each person feels. Be sure to speak with each family member so you can understand their feelings and expectations regarding your possessions. These conversations will guide you in decide how to distribute these items to your loved ones with the least amount of conflict. You should also decide if any of your heirlooms or keepsakes should be appraised, and if you do, be sure to save documentation about your items’ monetary value.
I can help you decide which of the estate planning strategies makes the most sense for you and your family when it comes to passing on these precious possessions. Options include:
Gifting during your lifetime: This is a good strategy if you want to personally witness the joy your loved ones experience when they receive the gift. With this option, you also need to work with an attorney who can help you understand the tax implications of any high value items you give away.
Include items in your estate plan using a personal property memorandum: A personal property memorandum is a separate document referenced in your will or living trust. The memorandum allows you to list which items you wish to leave to each individual and detail the reasons you are giving each item. You can change your memorandum as many times as you want, just sign and date it each time to ensure authenticity. It can be as long or short as you like, which allows you to account for even the smallest or seemingly insignificant possessions. Ask your estate planning attorney about certain assets you cannot list in a memorandum, like titled property, life insurance, 401(k)s, or intellectual property
Of course, if no one can find your heirlooms and keepsakes, it will create unnecessary family drama. You should create and maintain a comprehensive inventory of all of your assets, including each of your family heirlooms and keepsakes. A credible estate planning attorney can help you do this, and I offer this service at no additional charge. This way, I can help you create a comprehensive asset inventory and have systems in place to make sure your list of valuables is consistently updated throughout your lifetime.
I Can Help.
If you are trying to decide whether the many benefits of using trust-based estate planning will work for you and your family, set up an appointment with me. Let’s work together to design a plan that will provide you with the right solutions and will work when you need it.
